Holiday Parties

I've been invited to attend a friends Christmas party for what happens to be my previous employer (left on good terms) and I said yes. I am not sure I fully thought this through but I will abide by my response and go with her. I am  nervous that it's too soon into my lifestyle change and that being around people drinking and shoving their faces with fatty foods might be hard for me. I don't want to cheat or break my positive stride I've got going on but I also don't want to be a hermit and not enjoy anything. I am going to definitely sneak in some healthy snacks that I can indulge in and remain strong. I will also eat my meal as late as possible before heading there so that I am simply  not hungry! I just hope I'm able to enjoy every one's company and ignore the fact that there will be MAJOR temptation surrounding me. I think everyone will be supportive, but I don't necessarily want to blurt out to everyone that I'm on a "diet", it's not really their business and I don't want people being weird around me. Worst case scenario is I end up quietly excusing myself and heading home. I think as long as I bring some stuff to nibble on and have water I will be alright. This whole thing will simply be a test in my ability to say no and make better choices. This is an every day thing that I will have to face and this will just strengthen my will power. I think everything will be alright, just have to remember why I am doing this and what my amazing outcome will be.

On a side note, I do plan on revealing my before and after pictures once I reach my goal weight. It will be insane to see the changes! I just hope that I still look and feel like me. I know that's a silly thing to say, but it's what I feel. It's a worry I have. I just want to be a healthier version of myself so I can live longer and indulge in all the fun things in life that I avoid now! I think my next blog will have to be about all the things I will do and want to do, sort of a mini bucket list. And that gives me the great idea that I should start making a bucket list for myself.

I hope people are enjoying my blog and come back to follow, I will try to post at least a couple times per week. If there is a certain topic you want me to talk about or if you have a question feel free to comment or email me at emurray21@hotmail.com. Have a great evening everyone :)

Ups and Downs

Doing any sort of major life change takes a certain amount of dedication, actually, a lot of dedication! LOL With making over anything in your life you will also experience the ups and downs that come with it. I have already experienced my fair share of both and it's only been 2 weeks, but never fear, you just have to learn how to deal with it. For me, my outlet for venting both my happiness and sadness is writing (and talking to my mom of course). You have to find a way to get those feelings out of your head and move on. This year I've started this blog, I've also become an active Twitter user, have always been crazy about Facebook, and of course use the conventional hand written journal. These might not be right for you, but I enjoy them all. You will find your outlet. For me it helps because once you've released those thoughts (good or bad) you can move on and continue your day as normal.

An example? Well last week it was some one's birthday at work and so we have a cake brought in and we sit there chatting for an hour or so and enjoy the social time. I was hesitant to participate but didn't want to alienate myself by not joining in on the office fun so I decided to be a big girl and attend. I did not cheat and have cake though, I brought some delicious raspberries instead! I was feeling good and enjoying the social break during my day when my boss completely caught me off guard by saying "Isn't it just so sad that you have to eat those berries instead of this amazing chocolate cake?" I honestly froze and couldn't believe such words could come from someone I'd confided in about my diet and lifestyle change. I was livid; I wanted to cry and run out. That night and the next day I felt really down and alone with the whole process but I pulled myself out of my funk and wrote about it in my journal and talked with my mom about it. 

All I can say is that hopefully everyone has some sort of support system in their life whether it's family, friends, or yourself (yes you can be your own support system). You have to take the ugly with the pretty in life and learn from all situations. I have learned from all the stuff that has happened in my life and have come out a stronger person for it. You cannot control everything that happens to you or around you, but you can control how you act and react. I like to live by the saying "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" by Friedrich Nietzsche. I remember my Dad used to always say that to me when I was a teenager and it has just stuck with me through everything. Just think, there is always someone that has it way worse than you and is more than likely a lot more grateful for their life than you are. Focus on being a better you and things will come to order in your life. Become humble with your blessings and take the time to be thankful (and not just during Thanksgiving).  

Well it's off to bed for me, another glorious day awaits me tomorrow! Goodnight <3

Fighting Temptation

Well I guess I should have mentally prepared for the fun that is December. The time when everything revolves around baked goods, candy & chocolate, and large over-stuffed meals. It's definitely going to test my will power and dedication to make it through the next month without cheating and to continue to lose weight and hold strong. But I think I can do it! I think it'll be SO much easier once I start seeing physical results in my body size/shape. Someone at my work brought in home-made gingersnap cookies, which were sitting there right when I went to grab my lunch from the fridge...torture I say! But I did it, I walked away and ate my low-cal lunch and went back to work. There is going to be a lot of that horrid temptation this month and I will just have to keep getting stronger and stronger. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there in the same boat right now, I guess I'm not actually alone! I hope that my blog can at least help someone else know that others go through the same thoughts and temptations while trying to get healthy and avoid those super fatty foods! Together, we can do this :) You just have to find your support group or find it within yourself. Thankfully I am pretty good at doing something once I get into it and have the most amazing mother to support me through this! She has been my rock and my cheer team all in one! I don't think I could do this as easily without her. She's definitely keeping me distracted and reminding me why I'm doing it. Plus it doesn't help to set up mini goals for yourself. Perhaps even mini rewards to go with them so that instead of eating that cookie that will give me a 1 minute satisfaction I can think of that amazing Coach wallet I have stashed to reward myself with, or a pedicure, or a massage, or whatever your heart desires! And get back into your physical groove! Go for walks, spend an afternoon walking through the mall looking at all the cute clothes you will be able to wear and before you know it you'll have a couple hours of cardio under your belt and believe it or not, you will have spent your day not thinking about food or anything of that matter. I also find cleaning can be a good time waster and fat burner. Throw on some good tunes (whatever floats your boat) and dance a little while vacuuming and keep a steady pace! Nerdy I know, but makes it a little more fun. Clean and organize your closets, get rid of unnecessary items and de-clutter your life! There is so much you could be doing instead of sitting there thinking about food or worse, eating all that food! Keep healthy stuff in your fridge and cupboards so that even if you slip, you will at least be doing it with something healthy! I have pre-packaged all my bread substitutes so they're easy to grab on the go and have a couple servings of chicken ready to cook at a moments notice. There are so many things you can do to prepare to succeed! A well organized plan and staying accountable is the way to go :) Best of luck in all your weight loss adventures, emails and comments are always welcome!

Losing Weight

Well I have decided that I am going to finally do it, I am going to lose all this extra weight. As of November 15th I have been on the Dr Bernstein program and have been doing pretty good actually! I have lost 11.4 lbs as of this morning, so almost a pound a day. I've read a lot of mixed reviews on this but either way, I'm trying it out and so far it's working. You better believe it sucks ass that I can't just grab a cheeseburger at McDonalds when I'm out and about and you have to do a crap load of meal planning so you are ahead of the game. But it'll all be worth it if in the end I am healthy and manage to lose all this extra weight I'm carrying around! According to their plan I shall be fit in about 7 months time (timeline varies depending on how much you need or want to lose). I don't find it too bad for what you can actually eat because it's all real food that you buy at the grocery store, it's just hard getting used to having to plan ahead more and make sure you have everything needed if you're not at home. Either way, I will be updating as I go along, I've already experienced being super happy about progress, being upset and crying because of feeling alone in this, and every other emotion that seems to be heightened for women! LOL I am guessing this will be a roller coaster, but I will stick to it! I had to do a big overhaul on my pantry and fridge. The only thing I kept was soy sauce and mustard! LOL I am excited; there are so many things in life that I've held back on because of my weight and cannot wait to just live life so freely when I am healthy! I've been "battling the bulge" since I was about 15 or so and think a decade is definitely long enough. And who knew I'd become so able to wake up early and get to the clinic three times a week, I am SO not a morning person! I guess this is a complete life overhaul! Wish me luck :)

Pet Peeves

Pet peeves. Everyone has them, everyone it entitled to their own, but a lot of them are the same. To me things like driving side by side on a road is a big one, if you feel like driving the speed limit then fine, but if anyone else is late or has somewhere to be and aren't "Driving Miss Daisy" then they can't get past you! It's inconsiderate! Even more so when people are driving BELOW the speed limit! Pretty sure you can get a ticket for that! Another big one is grown adults who cannot spell! As I read through my Facebook news feed I am constantly annoyed at the enormous amount of people that cannot spell the most simple words. And simple grammar? Who needs that right? Pretty much anyone who wants to have a job that includes any administrative duties or business correspondence. I think the biggest contributor to that is the invention of spell check from Microsoft applications. I know of people who have graduated from the University here that are the worst spellers I've experienced yet! Way to completely fail at screening students! How good do you feel that people who could be teaching your future children, or becoming your new family doctor, or even people researching to prevent illnesses can pass through University without knowing how to spell words you learn in elementary! I also hate adult babies. By this I mean grown adults who act like a child over the stupidest things. I know someone who walks around stomping sometimes, slams down their phone, huffs and puffs at their desk, and whispers with the other people around you. It's insane how juvenile people can be, and it's also insane how they can think this is completely normal behaviour! Yeah right!! Where do you think your bratty children/grandchildren learn this behaviour from? The ironic thing is that they sit here complaining about everyone else and their "bad attitudes". Pretty sure you bad Karma is slapping you in the face with a two by four you miserable old person. Now I know this sounds like a completely negative and horrible rant, but really it's just me trying to vent what I get frustrated with so that I can continue to smile and be a pleasant person as much as possible in my day to day life. If you have any ideas of stuff you want to hear about from me or anything to add to this feel free to comment below! That's it for now, have an amazing day everyone :)