A Non-Romantic

So according to my brother (who is an over the top hopeless romantic) I am a serious pessimist because I do not believe in stupid romantic bullshit. I am a realist and do not allow my mind to wander to the point of fantasy and ridiculousness when it comes to possible love situations. Everyone is different and does their own thing, he just has this idea that everyone cares to hear his opinion and thinks that he knows all. He thinks that people actually care to hear everything that comes out of his idiotic mouth. He has to be one of the most annoying people I know, but yet I am stuck with him because he's family. He most definitely would get way further with me if he showed half the respect to me as he does these random girls he meets and begins planning his weddings with! Sorry for the rant but seriously. Maybe I am the way I am when it comes to relationships because at an early age I saw sadness and betrayal when my father was straying and it ended in divorce. Maybe it's because I've never really felt deserving of love and affection because I've been so unhappy with my appearance for so long. Who would want to date a fatty right? Well that was my thought pattern for a long time anyways. I'm still doing a lot of work on myself for myself. Trying to get back into the stage of loving myself completely for who and what I am. I am confident in myself in my personality and who I am, I just need to love myself physically. I've been having a rough go lately, dealing with some issues but I am trying to work through them and come out on top. And I feel as though that directly coincides with how I'm feeling physically. Lately I've been feeling so disconnected from everyone and everything, as though I'm in a constant state of blah. If that makes any sense lol. I'm not looking for pity or for people to feel sorry for me. But some of the closest people in my life are worried that I'm not okay. And all I can tell them is that I'll be fine and that I'll work through this, I really don't have any other choice. I cannot live my life in such a state. I do have my good and bad days. More bad than good, but can anyone really say that they are truly happy majority of the time? I know you're supposed to look at the positive in any and every situation but it's so much easier said than done. I think once I start losing some of the weight I've gained back I will start to feel better about myself and get out of my "funk".